Amazon Prime gives you a free month.

I say yes.

If you don’t opt out in time, you’ll be automatically charged the monthly fee.

I can keep track of this, Mr Amazon.

Let’s see what they offer. First I get some kind of faster-than-thou shipping.

My first guess here is that time is connected to money.

Now, what do I do with all that time saved? Amazon is wasting no time to let me know: They are offering culture. Vast resources of it.

I don’t even know where to start, so I switch to the German Amazon version, machine translated, and my blurry vision becomes clear:

All they offer is American culture.

TV shows and movies and music. All of it ranked by popularity. Matter of fact, everything just seems so popular and entertaining that I wonder what this criterion, the notion of popularity, really entails.

It is exhausting just to think about it, so let me order some Uber to-go food from a participating McDonald’s restaurant.

There is no Uber or participating anything in Cologne, Germany, I realized.

Allrighty then, let’s check in on the 40 million songs.

That is all they have, songs.

Considering the vast history of sonic emissions, both man and nature made, throughout the history of the universe that mankind can now grasp to comprehend, and all I get is songs, the starvation of music to a tune, a subconscious meme, that will get stuck in my head until the next one comes ‘round.

I am being turned into a Zombie.

American culture is first and foremost a destructive force, aimed to take over the World Spirit.

I got to stop this before it is too late, by all means necessary: Fight the Power, before everything is just a song or or a revolution, televised. Let me put my hands on the glowing set of my LCD screen, let me join the 40 million and more…

Then the doorbell rings. It’s Uber with my order of food.

Hang on a sec, I did not order any food.

It’s a hamburger, I hear a voice say onto me, we have a Big Mac and a Whopper with fries and a large drink. You always get to have a choice in America, you know? It is always the same choice, between Good and Evil, even if you are not aware of it.

You can’t go wrong.

You’re always just a click away.

I clicked.

All music is a song and all food is a hamburger. Of course, I just forgot to pair them up. They complement each other and will finally make me understand the World Spirit.

The Spirit, finally coming to itself as I come to my senses, fulfills a manifest destiny, becomes the universe, all enlightened – and it all fits between 2 buns.

I surely survived this attempt on my euro-centric subjectivity and I became no zombie, no siree Bob, because or in spite of the fact that there really is no Uber in Cologne. It would be Über anyway, as in “California über alles”, California above everything.

As to the tunes and messages I receive that interrupt every second of every day?

All of these are just flashbacks, implanted memories, from a time long ago, in a country far, far away, where I worked for George Lucas.

Anyway, I have to go to the hospital for radiation treatment now, this always kills off more than intended.

I will get used to this.